英国是个均分控、网排控,这是毋庸置疑的,所以更多学生希望在文书方面多下功夫,尤其是像帝国理工,伦敦政经,华威大学,格拉斯哥大学,曼彻斯特大学,伦敦大学国王学院,爱丁堡大学,伦敦大学学院,这样的学校还是相当看重PS的,即Personal Statement!
在没有面试的情况下,PS是大学招生官了解你其他能力和个性的唯一渠道。而综合排名越高的学校,也越是看重申请者个人陈述的撰写。但是英国留学申请中,文书PS,对于中国学生来讲是比较难的一个部分。
那么PS该如何撰写才能打动英国大学招生官呢?优越的文书团队绝对有话要说!
一、文书写作五要点
之前优越的文书老师给大家总结了写作要点及思路。
总的来说文书包含的五个部分,申请动机、学术背景、实践背景、择校原因、职业规划。
关于这五个部分,优越的文书老师已经在直播中有了详细的解答,感兴趣的可以点击查看这篇文章:【申请知识】9/28直播回顾~文书主管教你辨别文书好坏(含视频分享)
不过也收到不少同学反映,希望有一篇范文来对照讲解。所以优越文书老师又给大家带来了KCL伦敦国王学院给出的Business Management专业的官方PS范文,通过这篇范文来给大家更详细地讲解。这篇范文思路清晰,是一篇非常有说服力的文书。
二、范文思路
KCL的这篇文章主要写了三大部分:兴趣,个人介绍,希望申请这个专业的意愿。
1、兴趣
不用多说了,谁会招一个对学校和专业并不感兴趣的学生来读书呢?每年大学那么多的申请者,为什么选择一个不喜欢这个专业人的来?
关于这里,谨记两个字:真实。要在文中举例证明你的兴趣是真实的,不能只说有多么的喜欢。
2、为什么要申请这个学校和专业?
你对这个专业很有兴趣,但是跟申请有什么关系呢?有兴趣也可以去参加工作,去参加其他线上培训,讲座等等,无数种方式可以满足你的兴趣,那为什么选择来上学,还是我们学校,还是我们学校的这门专业?
你要举例说清楚,这个专业和学校可以给你带来什么,怎样满足你的兴趣或者是职业规划。
比如你可以参照课程设置,说自己研究了相关课程设置和授课老师,认为对自己有很大的帮助等等,甚至对教学方式,课内项目,讲座的嘉宾的向往等等,都可以作为证据。这个地方可发挥的就很多了,每个人的动机不一样,就不一一举例了。
3、个人介绍即你的优点
我们的申请者全都是有兴趣的,有动机的,那为什么选你?你怎样证明你是适合我们学校和这个专业的人?请举例说明你的优点。
以上就是PS范文的整体思路。在这三大部分中,穿插讲述了优越的文书老师整理的五要点:申请动机、学术背景、实践背景、择校原因、职业规划。
接下来,同学们带着这个思路来细看KCL的这篇范文。过程中,同学们可以注意哪些部分包含了以上五个要点。
三、范文解析
KCL官方提出:此范文仅供参考,不得复制、改编或引用。
第一部分:表达对这个专业的兴趣
I have always been fascinated by business and the impact it has on the world we live in. (我一直都对商业及其对我们的世界产生的影响有着浓厚的兴趣。)
接下来详细阐述兴趣,告诉大学我的兴趣很强烈并且是真实的。
论点一:因为兴趣,做过相关3段实习
To gain a better understanding of business, I organised work experience with three different businesses: [example one], [example two] and [example three].(为了更好地了解商业,我参与了三种不同商业的实习:)
At the [example one], I was given an opportunity to analyse a variety of business ideas and judge whether they were worth investing in.(在[经验一]中,我分析了许多商业想法,判断它们是否是值得投资的好的想法。)
The [example two] was the most interesting for me as I was exposed to the world of buying and selling;equities as well as a variety of other commodities. The firm was interested in investing in container ships and I was amazed at how volatile the prices were. ( [经验二]对我来说是最有趣的,因为我接触了真实的交易,包括股票等其他各种商品。那家公司有兴趣投资集装箱船,价格的波动性让我感到很精彩。)
I also gained some work experience with [example three]. I found this large firm intriguing, as it specialises in many areas from real estate to multi million pounds investments in equities.(我还通过[经验三]获得了一些工作经验。我发现这家大公司很有趣,因为它在包括房地产等许多领域有着数百万英镑的股票投资。)
论点二:兴趣起源于这门课程,并从课中学到商业知识
My favourite subject at school is Economics. I enjoy microeconomics and the insights this provides as to how businesses are run. For example, I now understand the difference between fixed and variable costs and how this impact on business decisions.(我在学校最喜欢的科目是经济学。我喜欢微观经济学,因为通过这门课程,我学到了商业是怎样运作的,比如我了解了固定成本和可变成本的区别,以及他们是如何影响业务决策的。)
The course introduced me to many basic business terms, opening my eyes to a whole new language that I look forward to learning moreabout.(我还知道了许多基本术语,打开了我对全新世界的大门,让我希望更多地去解它。)
论点三:因为兴趣,读了很多相关书籍,并从书中学到商业知识
Two of my favourite business books are Alan Sugar's autobiography and Naomi Klein's No is Not Enough.{(我最喜欢的两本商业书籍是Alan Sugar的自传和 Naomi Klein 的 No is Not Enough.)
Sugar's book provides a fascinating insight into the life of an entrepreneur and I particularly enjayed his advice on how to set up and successfully manage businesses. Sugar (在书里讲述了作为企业家的生活是什么样子的,我特别喜欢他关于如何建立和成功管理企业的建议。)
Klein's book focuses on the link between politics and business seen through the life of Donald Trump and I was particularly taken by her argument that he is using his presidency to enhance his brand image. (Klein 的书着重通过唐纳德特朗普的生活,讲述了政治和商业联系。我对她所说的,唐纳德特朗普利用了他的总统职位来提升他企业的品牌形象这一点印象很深。论点四:因为兴趣,从辩论中学到商业知识)
I enjoyed a debate on whether the government should have bailed out the banks.(曾经有一个我喜欢的辩论题:政府是否应该救助银行。)
I learnt the importance of the banking sector to the economy and the need to ensure that banks are well regulated. (我了解到了银行业务的重要忙以及经济部门以及确保银行受到良好监管的必要性。)
第二部分,通过事例让大学了解我,为什么选择我
论点一:课题研究
I am undertaking an EPQ on South Africa and the role that Mandela played in the abolition of apartheid.(我正在进行一项课题研究,是有关南非以及曼德拉在废除种族隔离中所发挥的作用。)
My EPQ has required significant dedication and independent learning as well as perseverance.(我的这项课题研究对奉献精神和独立学习以及毅力有着一定的要求。)
My EPQ research demonstrated my ability to think critically, analyse research recourses and develop lines of argument, articulating these in a clear written structure. (我的课题研究研究展示了我批判性思考、分析研究资源和发展论点的能力,以清晰的书面结构进行阐述。)
I took advantage of a trip to South Africa by initiating an interview with an ex-political prisoner on Robben Island which forms an integral part of my research as I often use direct quotes from him to emphasise certainideas.(我利用去南非旅行的机会采访了罗本岛上的一名前政治犯,这是我研究的一个组成部分,因为我经常直接引用他的话来强调某些思想。)
论点二:体育活动,参加课程和公开演讲
Since the age of eleven I have played sport to a high level representing my county at both tennis and cricket. Therefore, I know what it takes to achieve and sustain high levels of success.(从11岁起,我就代表我的家乡参与网球和板球活动。因此我知道,取得成功需要什么。)
Cricket has taught me how to work in a team, which is important for group projects at University and for business.(通过板球,我学会了如何在团队中工作,这对于大学和企业的团队项目很重要。)
I completed a Sports Leadership and a Speaking with Confidence course. both of which enhanced my natural ability to work well in teams.(我完了体育领尽力课程和白信演进淫理,这两个课理增强了我的团队会作能力。)
I volunteered to speak at our school's Open Day and felt that I was fluent and articulate.(我非常流利地在我们学校的开放日发表了演讲。)
第三部分:回归主题,希望申请此专业并举例阐述原因
I am interested in studying a business-related degree because I believe that business should be run for the benefit of all in society. (我希望学习与商业相关的课程,因为我认为应该商业应该为了全社会的利益而运营。)
One of the biggest issues facing business and politics today is the increasing divide between rich and poor. According to Oxfam, the wealth of the richest 8 people in the world is the same as the poorest 50%. (当今商业和政治社会面临的最大问题之一是贫富差距越来越大。根据乐施会的数据,世界上最富有的8个人的财富和最贫穷的50%人的是一样的。)
This needs to change. I recently entered an Economics essay competition in which I argued for greater fairness in income distribution as I strongly feel that the world needs to be a fairer place.(这是需要改变的。我最近参加了一个经济学论文竞赛,我主张收入分配更加公平,因为我强烈认为世界是一个需要更公平的地方。)
Therefore, I would love to study on this course not only to further my own career but also to bring values fairness and equality to the world ofbusiness.(因此,我很想学习这门课程,不仅是为了我个人的职业发展,同时也为商业世界带来公平和平等的价值观。)
四、总结
KCL这篇文书的每一个部分都是用了几个具体事例进行阐述的,层层递进,逻辑严谨。无论在雅思写作,口语表达,PS个人文书中等等,都可以运用好这一逻辑思维。
另外KCL还发布了其他专业的个人陈述撰写范文。各专业PS的要求各不相同,在每个专业页面都能找到具体表述,但是所有专业的要求几乎都有一个共同点:有明确字数限制,要求4000字符以内或500英文单词以内。
Accounting, Accountability & Financial Management MSc:
Education Management MA:
【产品】外籍文书+背景提升,2022留学申请助您全方位提升竞争力
1、点击这里 可直接线上咨询
2、24小时在线咨询:中国:400-666-1553 英国:+44(0)2039496719
3、添加客服微信立即咨询